What is UP with you Anons and your Sophie’s Choice asks? They torture me!!! ;)
I have actually mulled this over the ENTIRE weekend. I would choose….
Olicity. Allow me to explain:
Stelena: This was the first to go. Why? Because I don’t actually like Vampire Elena. I feel like I got my “happy” ending in the S3 finale. Human Elena - Stefan’s Elena- chose him. Stefan was her last human choice, when she was truly herself and her heart was pure. The 4x01 confession scene was Stefan & Elena’s goodbye scene that we never got in 3x22. I just didn’t realize that until 4x23. Why? Because Human Elena died that night on the bridge and she’s not coming back. Maybe Vampire Elena can find he way back to Stefan but it’ll never be the same. When Elena was truly Elena, Stefan was her choice and that’s enough for me.
Bangel: The fact that I didn’t pick Bangel was a SHOCKER to me. Here’s why - they are my OTP for life. I will probably never love any couple the way I love Bangel (although Olicity is getting pretty damn close). BUT part of my love for them is intricately connected to their pain. The idea that they are soul mates, destined for one another, but the universe won’t allow them to be together….that’s beautiful to me. I was happy with the Buffy series finale. Buffy acknowledged that she’ll always love Angel - that’s where her heart is. That when she thinks about a future, it’s always going to be him. But they are heroes. They are meant to be out in the world fighting, saving the world from unspeakable demons. They don’t actually need to be together for their love to survive. Their love is what gives each other strength to fight the good fight…separate but always together in their hearts.
Buffy has a natural light to her, an innate goodness, that no matter how much life broke her down she always was able to hold on to that part of her soul. The part of her that wanted to fight. Even as isolated as the Slayer is, Buffy always found a way to hold onto herself. Even when she did lose herself (in S6) she found her way back. Even when she didn’t have Angel, she had her friends. When she didn’t have her friends…she still had herself. Buffy always saved Buffy.
In the beginning, Angel lived for Buffy. She was the reason he wanted to become something better. After Amends it switched. Angel wanted to become a better man not for Buffy but BECAUSE of Buffy. There’s a difference. That’s what made him leave town and to fight the good fight…on his own. That desire to become more and be better lived inside Angel. Even when he lost his way, he always found his way back. His reason to fight was TO FIGHT. If nothing we do matters, than all that matters is what we do.
I’m okay without them being together because I KNOW they can survive not being together. They hold on to that love and it’s what helps them stay the course, but they don’t lose themselves in the pain. The pain strengthens them because as Angel said…
"How can we be together if the cost is your life or the lives of others?"
Being out in the world saves lives. It’s the epitome of selfless love. Buffy & Angel don’t belong to themselves or each other…they belong to the world.
Basically? Joss Whedon fucked me up beyond belief and made me LIKE PAIN.
Olicity: Maybe it’s because they are my current obsession and maybe it’s because it’s so new and full of hope. That’s what I initially thought…but then I realized it’s bigger than that.
Oliver is a hero just like Buffy, just like Angel. In many respects, Oliver doesn’t belong to himself. He belongs to the city - or The Arrow belongs to the city.
But Oliver loses himself in pain. He loses himself in self hatred. He loses himself in guilt. He loses himself in loss. He retreats inside of himself and isolates himself. No matter where he is or who he is fighting - Oliver remains on that Island. He will always remain on that Island unless someone finds him and rescues him.
Oliver needs someone to pull him out of his darkness. Oliver needs someone to harness the light inside of him. That’s the only way Oliver is truly himself. It’s the only way he can be both Oliver Queen and The Arrow and stay sane. It’s the only way he can hold onto his soul. It’s the only way he’s truly free.
You are fighting a war Queen. Except you have no idea what war does to you- how it scrapes away tiny pieces of your soul. And you need someone to remind you of who you really are, not this thing you are becoming.
Diggle is right. Alone, Oliver turns into the worst version of himself. Why? Because he doesn’t believe he deserves love or is someone worth loving. He needs that someone to remind him of who he really is. I think Oliver needs to BE WITH the person he loves. He needs that person standing by his side, loving him day in and day out - no matter what. THAT’S what strengthens Oliver. He also needs to love in return. He needs a place for that light to go…something beyond The Arrow & saving the city.
Felicity is that person. She’s the only person who loves Oliver unconditionally. She’s the only person that can harness the light inside Oliver. She’s also the person Oliver needs to love. He needs to love Felicity, because loving Felicity gives Oliver strength. His love for her is what makes him strong, it’s what makes him believe that he can become a hero. Without it, without her…he’s lost.
He’s willing to sacrifice his happiness to keep her safe. He loves her selflessly. He even puts the city before himself. BUT unlike Angel & Buffy…Oliver will not be okay on his own. Yes, he will always have his love for her but he will lose himself in The Arrow without Felicity. Without Felicity, Oliver Queen ceases to exist and The Arrow ceases to be a force of light. Why? Because The Arrow needs Oliver Queen to BE the light. The two are interdependent on one another….making both dependent on Felicity.
I think that’s one of the reasons Oliver is going to break up with Felicity. At his core, Oliver Queen is a survivor. He’s survived so much pain, torture and death. He’s had his heart broken - Helena, Laurel, Sara…and he’s always survived.
But if Oliver loses Felicity…if Felicity dies - Oliver knows that he cannot survive that. So staying away is self preservation.
The problem is, it’s too late. He’s in love with her. He needs her. He cannot survive without her. By staying away he’s condemning himself to the very isolation that can destroy him.
That’s why I believe, that of all these hero stories - Stefan & Elena, Buffy & Angel, Oliver & Felicity…OLIVER is the one who needs the happy ending. Without it, I don’t have the confidence that Oliver can save himself. The person that always poses the most danger to Oliver…is Oliver. Without that piece of happiness- the part of his heart that is just for him, the part that belongs only to him, Felicity, Oliver Queen cannot become the hero he’s meant to be.